5 Signs Youre A Player

Photo: @matt_barnes9/Instagram

“Don’t hate the player, hate the game,” pleaded Ice-T, but I can assure you that women certainly do, which means we certainly don’t want to date one. Men are generally regarded to play the field more than the opposite sex, and when you consider that science says monogamy kills a man’s libido, there’s no wonder there are a lot of players out there. But just because you like to date multiple women, does that mean you’re a player? And if you happen to be a ladies’ man, does that mean you’re destined for a future of casual hookups rather than a committed relationship?

Take a look at our top five signs to determine whether you’re a true player, and how you can still be a keeper.

You only want to meet her on your terms
You hate when she calls unannounced because a) you might be busy with another woman, or b) you’ve got plans with your boys, and you don’t like her cramping your style. But, conversely, you regularly ask her out on short notice because a) your other date for this Saturday didn’t pan out or b) your boys are busy this weekend, or c) you’re bored and horny. If this sounds familiar, you’re probably a mack daddy. So, what can you do about it? A few things: make plans with her at the beginning of the week; pick up her calls and texts in a timely manner; be upfront and tell her whether you’re dating other women, and how serious you are about dating. Above all, being respectful will do wonders for creating a meaningful relationship.

You only want to sleep with her
If the only “dates” you’re having happen in the bedroom, you’re definitely a player. Sure, sex is great, but it’s even better when you’re connected emotionally to the other person. As Hunter S. Thompson said, “Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.” So, take her out for a cup of coffee and ask her about her childhood, her passions in life, her fears and her goals. More than likely, she will love your interest and will reciprocate, which is the first step in cementing a solid connection—and better sex.

Your cover your tracks
Your Facebook page is as locked up as Fort Knox. Some people might call it privacy, but you’re just making sure that your bevy of ladies don’t find out about each other. Or maybe you like playing the Man of Mystery part. You don’t usually let people get to know the real you because you don’t like feeling vulnerable. Intimacy is scary, but it can also be hugely rewarding. Firstly, disclose to your dates that you are seeing other women, and secondly, dare to expose your fears to a new love interest with whom you feel secure. Showing your true authentic self to a partner is a giant leap forward for both yourself, and your relationship.

You don’t want your friends to meet her unless it’s to show her off
You usually don’t like to introduce your “dates” to your friends because you’re scared that the meshing of both worlds is a sign of getting “too serious” too soon. You might also be scared of facing any judgment from your buddies regarding your new woman because their opinion matters more than your own. On the other hand, you may prefer to show off your new squeeze to your pals only because she’s hot. To negate your player tendencies, introduce your new love interest to your friends only when you are sure there is a future with her. How can you tell that? A man in love is not scared, but totally excited to introduce his girlfriend to his friends. He knows that no matter what they think, they are going to see how happy he is. Embrace the happiness, dude!

You are dating more than one woman

Suffering from “too many women, too little time” is probably the most obvious indicator you’re a ladies man. For a change, decide to date one woman at a time. Don’t worry—it doesn’t have to be super serious—but by dedicating your time and attention to just one woman, you’ll be able to get to know her better and discover whether you are truly a great match or not sooner rather than later.