6 Weird and Strange Pieces of Basketball-Themed Merchandise

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 Okay, so you have a Chicago Bulls-themed flask in your backpack, or a poster of LeBron James on your wall. Your kid might have an awesome pair of Raptors-themed running shoes. That’s all fairly normal, isn’t it?

Well, what about the computer game where Charles Barkley fights robots? Haven’t played that one? What about a pair of stylish basketball-theme heels? No? Well, reader, here’s a list for you: six weird pieces of basketball merchandise.

1. Basketball Rubber Duck

How ubiquitous is your basketball decorating? I mean, how far do you go to decorate your bathroom with a basketball theme? After the NBA themed shower curtain and toilet seat cover, options start getting limited.

Luckily, Bluesodapromo has you covered with this Nike Basketball Rubber Duck.

What a weird thing to exist. Maybe it’s the logical next step. After buying basketball-themed flasks, blankets, and shoes, maybe rubber ducks are the last frontier.

Luckily, rubber ducks probably bounce fairly well, which means you’ll be able to get in a pick-up game between baths.

2. Shaq Fu
 

 

The 90s were a heady time for basketball spin-offs, giving us a cornucopia of strange ideas, like Kazaam and Space Jam, and this inexplicable Shaquille O’Neal video game.

Electronic Arts published Shaq Fu in 1994 and it went on to nab “Worst Game Awards” in video game magazines ever since.

 

The story of the game is this: While on his way to a charity game in Tokyo, Shaq walks into a dojo and is warped away to another dimension, where he must “rescue a young boy named Nezu from the evil mummy Sett-Ra“. Yes, this is a real game that someone made and sold. And people bought it. The game sold 9.8 million copies worldwide.

Critics roundly panned it for being poorly designed, but it still remains the only game where Shaquille O’Neal uses martial arts to fight supernatural monsters in order to win the day and get back to playing basketball, so we should be grateful for that, at least.

3. This amazing pair of basketball heels

 

Maybe these heels don’t belong on a list of weird and strange pieces of merchandise. These babies are tremendously sexy, with clean sandal-style straps and basketball heels.

You might not want to play a game in these, unless you’ve got the agility of a Cyd Charisse, but these are perfect for any night out.

These heels were seen worn by the stylist Ms Fitz at Australian Fashion Week. The shoe blog that spotted them thinks they were likely customized.

4. Basketball Wine-Caddy
 

 

I think this wine-caddy from WellPromo.com is pretty adorable, but that doesn’t change the fact that it would be an odd addition to any basketball-themed collection.

It’s a bizarre piece of customized merch, with its wall-eyed stare and big grin making it look like a particularly happy robot, or the Tin Man out on a night of drinking.

5. Basketball Sunglasses
 

WellPromo.com is a good site for finding strange basketball-themed items.

These hideous basketball sunglasses probably don’t go well with many outfits, which leaves wearing them on the court. But you know, I can see that working. It’s how you can tell the other players how committed you are to the game.

6. Barkley Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden
 

 

Video games could have filled up this entire list, if we’d wanted them to. I had to narrow them down to the most out-there examples.

The warped craziness of Shaq Fu had to make the list, and so did this fan-made computer game, made in 2008 by Tales of Game’s Studio as an unofficial sequel to the 1994 game Barkley Shut up and Jam!
 

 

Barkley Shut and Jam: Gaiden is a freeware game that places Charles Barkley in the middle of a stylized dystopian police state. After Barkley performs a “chaos dunk” that complete destroys New York City, he must join forces with James LeBron in order to escape from a villainous Michael Jordan, fighting his way to freedom.
 

 

Though it was made with its tongue firmly in its cheek, it still tops this list as one of the weirdest spin-offs to come out of basketball.

Those interested in actually playing the game can find it here.

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