We spend a few weeks winding down from the playoffs, and then a few more pretending to be interested in baseball, and by that time the average hoops fan is itching for the return of their favourite freak athletes.

Restlessness in August is to be expected. But this year the basketball drought seems to have no end in sight. There’s no approaching opportunity to release all of that pent up sporting passion.

The beginning of the NBA season is supposed to be the outlet for our restless energies. If the labour dispute is not resolved, there’s no telling what self-destructive activities all that pent up passion will bring on. Fans might start tattooing their favourite players or team onto their bodies.

For instance, a diehard Miami Heat fan recently publicized his new LeBron tattoo over Twitter, drawing the ire of the vast majority of the sporting world and rubbing salt in the wounds of the one or two Cavs fans who undoubtedly did the same thing.

Now, a Heat fan getting Mr. James inked into his calf is better than a Cavaliers fan, but it still seems a little premature. After all, LeBron failed to lead his team to the championship victory he and his pals so brashly predicted for themselves. But with the prospect of The King’s reign lasting at least a handful more years in South Beach, and with an eventual title seeming more an inevitability than a hope, this work of art may appreciate in value.

Meanwhile, the Heat’s post-season vanquishers have also been paid tattoo tribute by their most loyal fans.

2. A Rear Appearance By Dirk Nowitzski

There are currently two Mavs tattoos circulating the internet, the first a well done piece depicting the Larry O’Brien trophy etched across a man’s right shoulder blade, and the second, which has garnered substantially more interest, is a stylized portrait of Finals MVP Dirk Nowitzki needled into a fan’s, uhh, hind parts.

It seems to me like the big German deserves better than that. Dirk’s playoff performance is already sewing itself into the fabric of the league’s history, and his individual talent level is one of the highest we’ve ever seen. The man’s a future Hall of Famer, an NBA champion, a Finals MVP, a League MVP, and all he gets is a butt tat? Preposterous. True Dirk fans should be getting full back pieces and entire sleeves inked, just to defend his honour.

This NBA fan comes from Oklahoma City, where she was filmed getting team slogans tattooed in bold blue onto her inner thighs.

They nicely compliment the large Thunder logo already decorating the outside of her right leg. So in addition to earning the ‘super-fan’ label, she has also taken on the monicker Thunder Thighs for the rest of her life.

This fan should not only be saluted for her loyalty, but also serve as a dire warning to all those involved in the back room bargaining; if the absurd tattoos have begun by the end of July, what will deprived fans be doing come November?