Breaking Up In An Online World


Break-ups aren’t what they used to be. Afterwards, there is the inevitable online profile fall out: Facebook lowbrows, Twitter rants and everything else that comes with our extended online personalities. Just how does one exit a romantic tryst unscathed in our modern world? With online grace and a little class.

1) Changing your relationship status.

The relationship may be over in reality, but every time you log onto your Facebook profile, you see “in a relationship” marked at the top of your profile. Assuming you still have your ex as a friend, removing your status or changing it to single can be a waiting game of who does it first.

This can invite questions from nosy acquaintances and make a private situation, public. The best solution? To not have your relationship status show at all. You and your ex know you’re not together, and the people important to you will know directly through you both. Why give the the peanut gallery any fodder for gossip? The less action here, the better, unless you want to appear petty.

2) Taking down pictures of you both.

Maybe she’s not creeping you, and maybe she is. Facebook-wise, even if you de-friend an ex, chances are if things didn’t end well, she’s still curious about what you’re up to. And, chances are you don’t exactly want all those lovey dovey pictures from your weekend trip to a winery still plastered all over your Timeline, although they were nice memories!

The line between looking like you’re holding onto the past and simply not going out of your way to delete it is a fine one. A general rule for Facebook applies: delete pics of the two of you engaging in any romantic behavior and keep the rest. A photo where you’re in a group on that beach trip to Cabo? Totally fine. One where you’re kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower? Totally not.

3) Emotional vomit.

Yes, break ups are hard on everyone. And many of us deal by getting a little emo. You know, indulging in Adele and realizing that yes, Whitney was right: we did almost have it all! Being alone in your room with no other company than your break-up feelings and a tub of ice cream can make for a dangerous situation… as in one where you let all that emotional vomit out online.

Tweeting those Adele lyrics that ring so true, writing cryptic Facebook status updates about darkness—You get the gist. Withhold your teary urges if you can; after all, you don’t want it getting back to your ex that you’re hurting this badly!

Instead of focusing on the loss of a partner, gain perspective on a new beginning and tweet about that instead! There’s no better revenge than being happy!

4) Un-friending an ex.

After a break up, it’s normal to not be in contact with each other for a while before being friends. Or, if things went sour, to not be in contact forever. Unfriending an ex on Facebook may seem harsh, but it’s appropriate if you’re no longer together. There are inevitably going to be posts on either of your walls that upset the other and neither of you should have to censor your online lives .

Putting one another on limited profiles for a while may suffice as well. Unfriending isn’t the end of the world guys, and if you should happen to become friends later, a friend request is always an option. Too little information on the other is always better than too much in a time of hurt!

5) On to the next.

We all move on, some faster than others. If you’re dating someone new not too long after leaving your ex, it’s in your best interest to hold off on too much online affection. Not to mention, it’s the classier route to take! (And you risk looking uber-needy if you post couples pics too soon in the relationship!)

Even with your ex on limited, unfriended, blocked or what have you, there are still mutual friends and everyone else who will only see you as that dude who hopped from one chick to another. Not a good look. Wait a a few months before posting anything obviously coupley. Your dignity will thank you. 


Mitch at 14 Jan 2012

I like to party, not look artilecs up online. You made it happen.

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