Valentine’s Day Survival Guide

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 Valentine’s Day gets a bad rap. Single folk feel left out – and grossed out – by over-the-top gestures and snuggly wuggly coupledom that the holiday implies.

But even if you are in a committed relationship, the day can be stressful and you may find yourself fretting over not winding up in the doghouse.

Worry not. Here’s a foolproof guide to ensure your Valentine’s day goes off without a hitch. It all comes down to expectations vs. results. As Victoria’s Secret Angel Adriana Lima said, “Valentine’s Day is not that complicated. Give, and you shall receive.” Are you really going to disagree with Adriana Lima? Didn’t think so.

Bah humbug!

If you’re a V Day scrooge, try to get in the spirit a little. Don’t tell her you’re “not a Valentine’s Day person.” It’s a cop-out and it generally won’t fly. Even if it’s true, you’ll disappoint her by being such a wet blanket. Valentine’s Day might seem silly, but there’s no need to take yourself or the holiday so seriously. Instead, take the opportunity to spend some time together and laugh with Valentine’s Day – not at it.

Valentine’s Day-themed comedy shows are great way to keep things light. Toronto’s Second City has a new show, ilove – A Romantic Dot Comedy, on Feb 13, as well as special Valentine’s Day encore performance the show Dreams really do come true! (and other lies) on Feb 14 at 7 pm and 9:30 pm. If you really want to splurge, there’s even an option of a Valentine’s Package which includes a 3-course dinner, show, chocolates and drink.

A cheaper option is Yuk Yuk’s, which has Amateur Night for a mere four dollars every Tuesday – but be warned, this does not include the cost of the many rounds of drinks you’ll probably need. In Montreal, ComedyWorks is having it’s third annual Love Show. Do a quick Google search of comedy shows in your city and see if tickets are still available.

Maybe comedy isn’t your thing. If you want to keep the night low-key, you don’t need to spend a ton of money to make a good impression. Make her dinner, or even suggest you cook dinner together. The pressure doesn’t have to be all on you, so don’t be afraid to ask her in advance how she’d like to spend the day. While lots of women love surprises, most would be perfectly happy just knowing that you’ve already put some thought into it and are excited at the idea of doing something special together. Aw, shucks.

@Jenny Happy #Vday babe! #Imajerk

Having said all that, whatever you decide to do, you need to make an effort. In the age of technology, it may seem appropriate to send her an e-card, write on her Facebook wall, or send her a “Happy V Day babe!” text message. While all these gestures are OK per say, they should be a preclude to, or in conjunction with, something else you two have got in store. They do not stand alone.

Basically, there are just some things that you can’t do virtually. If you decide tweeting at your girl makes you a bonafide Valentine’s day Casanova, don’t be surprised if you find yourself spending Valentine’s night alone with your computer.

A rose by any other name…

Making the effort does not necessarily mean going for the obvious as an automatic, knee-jerk response. A dozen red roses and a heart-shaped box of chocolates may be the last-minute go-to, but it’s pretty unoriginal, not to mention pricey. Wake up and smell the cash-grab; florists jack up the price of red roses on Valentine’s day knowing full well that desperate boyfriends will blindly throw fistfuls of cash in their direction, just so they don’t show up empty-handed.

Ladies are suckers for flowers, but red roses aren’t your only option. Go for a different colour, or – gasp! – even a different kind of flower – say, her favourite (if you know it, that is). It’ll differentiate you from those other bozos she’s spent past Valentine’s with. Want to make an even more impressive gesture? Show up with a book she’s been meaning to read or tickets to a concert she’s been wanting to go to. Flowers wilt, but that thoughtful gift you gave her last Valentine’s Day will be remembered.

It’s all good

Valentine’s Day is an over-hyped, commercialised holiday that most of us dread. But just like Christmas at Aunt Mildred’s, you can’t easily get out of it without looking like a jerk. Your best bet is to stop fighting it, make a game plan and try to get the most out of Feb 14 when things inevitably go well because you’ve followed this guide.

If all else fails, there’s always a Lakers game on.


David at 10 Feb 2012

hahah this sums up valentine's day perfect for me.

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