I have been dating my girlfriend for over 2 years now and I just don’t feel like it’s going anywhere. I know she isn’t the person I see myself settling down with but I’m not sure how to break it off. Any advice on how to bring it up?
Sometimes relationships fizzle out and are just not as fulfilling as they once were. And when that happens it’s time to make a decision.
Do you address the problems and try to work through them or are your differences so fundamental that you each should go your separate ways? When it’s time to end things, it can be easy to put it off because you don’t want to be responsible for hurting the person you’re with, but in the long run, putting it off will cause more trouble. You will be wasting their time and your own.
The problem is, if you let it drag out, that will send the message to them that you are committed and comfortable, when in actuality, you are really thinking about leaving. The most important part of any relationship is honesty and that still applies to the end.
Break ups are never easy, and no one wants to be on either end of a them. And sometimes we skew the truth to try and soften the blow. But more often than not, that just makes everything more painful.
The most important thing is to be completely honest. Talk to her about your concerns. Ask her where she sees herself in the future.
She might also be feeling that things are ending. Explain your uncertainty with the relationship and clearly express your feelings in a non accusatory way. Use “I feel” statements instead of placing blame on anyone. Break ups hurt no matter what, but lying to spare her feelings will make everything worse.
Tell her that you don’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with her. Don’t be cruel, but be clear and concise. Any confusion will just drag the break up out longer and make it more painful for everyone.
Instead, explain that you don’t think you two are right for each other and you would rather be up front and honest than waste her time. She will no doubt be upset but hopefully she will appreciate your honesty.