Just as the bad hairstyles catch our attention, shouldn’t the good ones? I mean, it isn’t all bad. A lot of NBA players have seriously commendable style, and this translates into the world of hair.
Craving a stroll down memory – and nightmare – lane, we decided to look back at the best and worst hairstyles in the NBA. Curious who made the list? You may have forgotten about some of the worst offenders. Sorry, but we’re about to make you remember.
Worst: Chris Kaman
Sporting the kind of hair that sends shivers down your spine – in a very, very bad way – is Chris Kaman. This guy takes ugly hair to a new level. A note out there for all you fellows, if you’ve got the thinnest blonde hair known to man, don’t grow it out. Seriously. The result is a combination of the neighbourhood creep and a caveman. For certain, no one will let you near their children.
There it is, in action! The guy usually has adequate hair: short and well-groomed. But, for a short time, this is how we all saw Chris Kaman. For the love of the game, Chris, please never do this again.
Worst: Drew Gooden
No, this isn’t an unfortunate balding pattern. More unfortunate, it’s a deliberate hairstyle from Drew Gooden. It probably left a lot of you scratching your heads. I may or may not have gagged upon zooming in to capture this photo.
I mean, if you’re going to wear a soul patch – and, by the way, most of you shouldn’t – at least wear it in the traditional way. No one wants to see the kind of soul patch that yells “surprise” as it jumps off the back of your head to assault the eyes of the viewers.
Worst: Ronny Turiaf
The guy usually has decently acceptable hair, but this style is among the worst. I’m sorry, but did I miss the moment when Ronny enrolled in the all girls’ school in which this hairstyle belongs? Reminiscent of the hairstyle usually sported by adorably preppy pre-pubescent girls, this is a definite mistake on Ronny’s part. Now, whenever I see a little girl with a purple hairband and relaxed hair, I’ll think of him. If that isn’t a creepy imprint, I don’t know what is.
Worst: Andrei Kirilenko
Scared? We all are. Needless to say, Andrei’s facial features don’t lend themselves well to the hairstyle sported by most of the cast of Halloween. The original. I don’t know if it’s the look in his eyes, the creepy shadowing, or the mullet itself that scares the crap out of me in this photo. Most probably, it’s all of the above.
To get a good, well-rounded perspective of just how scary this look really is, here’s another picture.
Best: Andrei Kirilenko
You’re probably just as surprised as I was, but I’m starting the list with our last offender, Kirilenko. While this style has received a lot of criticism, I commend it because (1) it’s freshly cut and styled and (2) it’s the best possible cut for his bone structure. Let’s be honest, Kirilenko has a certain ghoulish quality, but this hair makes him look professional and highlights his better features. While he’s had a lot of hairstyle misses in the past, I say we congratulate him for hitting the nail on the head with this choice.
Best: Brandon Jennings
Brandon Jennings is adorable. That is a fact. His smile could stop traffic and his hair is always freshly cut and uniquely sculpted. While his asymmetrical look made a few people cringe, I totally dug it. However, the hairstyle above is my favourite by far. It’s clean, young and refreshing. He’s a risk-taker and a pretty one at that.
Best: JJ Redick
Be honest, most of you wish you could have Redick’s hair. With lustre and volume to spare, this is the stuff dreams are made of. While he usually chooses to keep it freshly cut and gelled, he really doesn’t need to.
Sorry, JJ. While the above mug shot is an unflattering testament to his criminal past, it’s a fabulous testament to his hair. Look at it! Thick and seemingly blowing in the wind – do they have wind machines in prison?! – it’s obviously the kind of hair that just doesn’t quit.
Best: Kenneth Faried
Kenneth Faried has beautiful hair. Most women wish they could have some semblance of it, but alas, only few are gifted with such wonderful locks. He usually opts to keep his braids tied back, which we have to acknowledge as the best option for his face. I mean, this guy is more handsome than a lot of Hollywood actors, so why not show off the goods?
Keeping his braids neat and tied back, Kenneth has nailed a style that both suits him and makes women everywhere a little lustful.
While the archives lend themselves to an entire book of best and worst NBA hairstyles, we’ll stop ourselves here. From beautiful to scary, hair in the NBA is definitely diverse. It’s so ever-changing that it keeps us on our feet and has us all saying, “Dude, did you see his hair?”