Assuming you get the girl of your dreams to agree to come out with you on a weekend you’ve both got free, you’ve still got a long way to go before you seal the deal. There’s a billion ways you can trip yourself up before the night’s over – we’re going to go over some of those self-destructive behaviours, and how you can cut down on them yourself.
Let’s say you’re driving to this amazing steakhouse you have a table booked at. It took weeks just to get a table. As you pass this down and out Mexican place, she goes “Oh! My friend told me about that place! They have the best Tiayuda!”
That’s when you have to be the most agreeable guy on earth. Swallow your disappointment – don’t let it show – and ask if she wants to ditch the steakhouse, and try the Mexican place. This isn’t something you necessarily want to get into a bust-up over. And if she remembers that you’re the kind of guy who can roll with the punches like that, and is good for an adventure – that’s a good thing.
Being Passive Aggressive
This goes hand in hand with being inflexible. It’s like going to a coffee place that she likes, and spending the entire time going “Oh, no it’s cool. You know. I prefer the coffee place down the road. Because I’m diabetic. And you know. They have diabetic syrup. You know. No big deal. It’ll be alright.”
Don’t do that. Might as well just show up in Osh Kosh overalls, with pudding running down the front, because you’re acting like a child – not a man.
These people are paid less than minimum wage to haul food to you. It doesn’t cost you anything to be nice, but it can ruin some poor server’s night if you’re a huge dickhead.
This is a big one. This is you rolling your eyes when she’s talking. This is you getting super uncomfortable when she talks about her exes. This is you treating her bad based on something she may or may not have done in the past.
The important thing isn’t stuff that happened before – it’s what’s happening tonight. If she mentions something about her you’re not cool with – that’s fine. File that away mentally under “Stuff I’ll Think About Later”. If you know she’s not got a lifestyle that fits with yours – that’s fine. You can deal with that later, when you call her in a few days and tell her you don’t think you two are a good couple.
The important thing is to remember – you’ve done your own share of shameful things. You wouldn’t want someone making you feel bad about it, would you?
Being Too Flexible
Conversely, you’re not going to be doing yourself, or your date any favours by being a complete weed. If your date is rolling her eyes, texting all night, treating the waiters like trash, then there’s no shame in telling her you think she’s being rude, and you want her to stop. Best case scenario, she apologizes and stops. Worst case scenario, she goes off on you, and storms out. But that’s not the kind of person you need need in your life anyway, right?
If this all sounds like we’re telling you to do a thousand things all at once – all of which are contradictory – you’re right. That’s the world of dating. Have fun!