It’s the 21st century, so the world of relationships has changed. “Living in sin,” has become more and more common, and most people see it as a necessary dry run in their relationship before they make a big commitment to each other. But that doesn’t make it any less of a big decision. You’re living together, which makes everything infinitely more complicated all of a sudden. There are a few important things to think of and discuss with your partner, before you make the move permanent.
Look, there’s no way to get around the fact that everything changes when you move in together. Increasing numbers of people are just skipping out on marriage altogether and counting cohabitaitng as being good enough. With that in mind, you need to give this the appropriate consideration and thought before you decide to move in together.
Your relationship will definitely change. You’re seeing each other more and more, so the spark that you get when you haven’t seen her all day will change. It’ll get replaced by something else, but it’s up to you to see just how your relationship evolves.
Eating habits are becoming more and more specailized these days. People go on paleo diets, gluten-free diets, carb free diets, raw vegan diets and any mix of other diets all the time. You have to learn how to compromise, and figure out how you can both be happy about what’s going on the plate.
These seem like tiny issues, but once you live with someone all the time, and you never eat what you really want to, it’ll slowly nag away at you until it becomes a fight.
Does she like to wake up at 5AM every day to do hot yoga? Do you like going for nighttime jogs at 11PM? Do you leave nail clippers in the sink all the time? Does she buy weird smelling cheeses and leave them in the fridge? These are all things you should know by now, but things you’ve never given much thought to. Give thought to them now, and think about which of your habits you have it in you to change, and which habits you really want her to change. You can’t change her, but if you think it’s important, she’ll put the cheeses in their own box.
Working and Waking Hours
Are you a night owl? Is she? Are you a morning type, or do you like to roll around hitting the snooze button on the alarm five times before you fall out of bed? Are one of you working a job that requires you to be on-call? These things don’t just cause annoyance if your free hours don’t like up, but can become flashpoints for a relationship.
You assume you’re going to see each other at home, but you still need to set aside “alone” time for each other, so you can still enjoy the same relationship benefits as before.
Finally, moving in together represents a commitment, and before you do any of that, you should be certain what you both want out of this. Is marriage something happening on the horizon? Or is a common-law marriage good enough? Is that a fight worth having, if you disagree? Are you going to have kids one day?
You’ve probably noticed we’ve talked a lot about compromise. It’s just a reality of the situation. If you move in with anybody, you’ve got to accomodate them. Now, you’ve got to accomodate someone you’re really crazy about. So, isn’t that worth that much more? But remember compromise is a two way street. Both of you ought to be giving up a little bit, so you both can get so much more.