Most people know when relationships are ending. Unfortunately, the last people to know are inevitably the people in the relationship. That’s why people have red flags that are supposed to warn them when things are going wrong, but many people simply choose to ignore all of them when they’re flush with the feeling of new love. This can lead to an unhappy relationship dragging on if either side isn’t being totally honest about their feelings, or to a missed opportunity if the relationship is something worth saving. So pinch yourself and review some of these common relationship red flags—before you both get burnt.
You start arguing all the time
The reddest of flags, this is the one that everyone has seen or experienced. You two start arguing over stuff that doesn’t even matter. You rage at her over something she said hours ago. She’s upset you took the last can of coke from the fridge. It turns into a shouting match, and both of you let it boil and fester. It’s no way to conduct a healthy relationship, and if you had some distance, both of you would know that.
One of you starts spending too much time with friends
It could be you, or it could be her, but one of you isn’t putting any effort forward into making this relationship work. And it only gets worse, when the other party starts feeling hurt by it. It’s an unfortunately easy habit for some people to fall into, and even easier for some people to ignore. But really, there’s a reason you’re not spending time with each other. And you have to address that.
She never apologizes
It might seem crazy, but this kind of thing does happen. Big fights, shouting, accusations and then a tacit admission of guilt—that doesn’t actually equal an apology. This is something that really, you need to be on red alert for. You might be happy the fight’s over. You might be glad that everything’s back to normal. But if she won’t apologize to you, that’s a bad indicator of where this relationship is headed.
You never meet any of her friends
Remember that Chris Rock song? Remember how it told ladies that if she didn’t meet any of her man’s friends, she wasn’t his girlfriend? The reverse is true, too, and some women are content to keep relationships out of the serious zone that introducing someone to your friends brings. Know where you stand, because if she knows and you don’t, you’re in for a world of trouble.
You stop trusting her
This is the big one. And really, it might be the most important one. If you’ve gotten to a point where you can no longer take her at her word, and you take her to be anything less than truthful, you need to confront the fact that your relationship has crossed a point that can’t be uncrossed. Sit down, take stock and figure out where you want to go from here, because there’s nothing we can say, and no advice we can give you now.