One of our friends (who shall remain anonymous) recently asked us,
I met homegirl at one of my friend’s housewarming parties, and we really hit it off! Shared a cab home—let’s just say that there wasn’t any need to split the cab fare, okay? We’ve been together for a few weeks now. Everything’s brilliant—we’re finishing each other’s sentences at this point. But her best friend’s getting married in Raleigh, NC over the weekend. She’s planning on going out there, and wants me as a +1! Is this too soon?
For advice, we turn our column over to our resident relationship expert, Nat.
Look, it’s obvious you care about this woman. Obviously you do—otherwise you’d just say no right away. That you’re even considering it tells me that you’re weighing up your options. Our advice? If you’re really crazy about this girl, go ahead and book your plane ticket.
From what you’ve told me, this is the status of your relationship—you two are nuts about each other.
Is that right? Because I’m not seeing any problems. A quick weekend trip for a wedding is a great way to see how you guys do in a space outside of your comfort zone. She has to introduce you to new people, and she’ll get a chance to see how you do in those situations. You’ll get to see how she does when she’s around close friends and family—and that kind of stuff is priceless. And if it doesn’t work out, you two are the kinds of people who can’t stand each other in close proximity, remember that it’s better to find out now, than when you’re six months in.
Another friend (who shall remain anonymous) recently asked,
I’m just starting to get serious with this lady my friends introduced me to. The thing is, my friends don’t know that I’m a serious gamer… and neither did she. I mean, I’ve got over 60,000 gamerscore [on Xbox Live] at this point. And there’s a fight brewing. Every time I mention gaming, and every time I talk about a game that’s coming out, she sucks her teeth, or tunes out like she’s somewhere else. What should I do?
Wow. Passive aggressive much? This lady has got some problems if she can’t recognize that this hobby of yours, is a big part of who you are. You don’t get to 60,000 gamerscore accidentally. You need to sit down with her, and talk it through. Find out what her big objection to the games is, and see if she can’t get a bit more educated on what these games mean to you, and how important they are to you. Ideally, she’ll come around and see that they’re a part of you being you. Some relationship columnists will tell you to ditch the games—we’re not so callow. If she hates this one part of you so much, it’s a big problem.