How To Make The Most Of A Missed Connection


We’ve all done it. A beautiful girl catches your eye on the subway, and you actually work up the nerve to comment on how nobody can understand the conductor’s radio. She laughs. You start talking and—just as things started getting good—the train arrives at her stop and she departs. That’s the very definition of a missed connection. Here’s how to get the most out of a chance encounter that may never repeat itself.


Photo: Jon Silver/Creative Commons

Think about it
You won’t be able to avoid thinking about it the rest of your day, we know that much. Instead of wondering “what if?,” direct your ruminations toward a lofty goal: self analysis. What about her is it that caught your eye? What did you do that interested her? Why did you feel comfortable talking to a complete stranger? These are all intriguing questions that may not help you with your missed connection, but they will help you define what you want out of future (real) relationships.

Get it out
It may sound cheesy, but guys have traditionally written poetry, novels and songs about the girls that got away instead of today’s anonymous and often hilarious blurbs on Craigslist. A singular moment of infatuation is a great spark for creativity, so let it out in whatever medium you work best in. Like this guy, you’ll be glad you got it off your chest. The act of creation is not only cathartic, it also helps us remember the moment more clearly with a finished work to serve as a touchstone.

Use it as an ego boost
A missed connection can lead us to asking a lot of questions about why it didn’t work out. The truth is that it doesn’t matter—chances are you were both victims of circumstances beyond your control. What you should be paying attention to is that if she approached you, there’s a reason for that. If you approached her, you may have more game than you thought. Either way, realize that you’re a high-quality male and take that feeling to heart.


Photo: Dov Harrington/Creative Commons

Be happy it happened
You may never see her again, but there’s something to be said about a short and sweet encounter. Your relationship never wore long enough for arguments to arise, and you probably didn’t feel the pangs of guilt and hurt that come with a break up. Instead, you enjoyed a pure, albeit brief, feeling of passion, a kind of perfect moment. Hold onto that feeling and let it drive you to talk to more people, get out there and enjoy life. Who knows if a more long-term situation is just around the corner.

Move on
While this may not be the advice you’re hoping for, it’s best to understand that life is not a fairy tale. While incredible things do happen, it isn’t a reflection on your character if fate doesn’t draw you two back together once again. A clean break with the perfect relationship that exists entirely in your head is in order. Unrealistic expectations can blind you to other romantic possibilities that may be right in front of you. Oh, and don’t put up posters with your face and phone number on them. You know, just in case.


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