If Space Jam 2 Were Happening, This Is Who Would Be In It

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You’ve probably heard the rumours that a remake of the 1996 classic NBA-meets-Looney Tunes film, Space Jam, is in the works, allegedly starring LeBron James in place of Michael Jordan. The status of the film is still up in the air, with some channels convincingly claiming it’s moving forward and others—including King James himself—refuting the rumours. That still leaves us with some burning questions about the possible film’s plot. Where does it leave off from the first movie? How does LBJ get involved with the Looney Tunes? Who’s in the intergalactic goon squad this time around, and what are their intentions? 

Let’s just say (hypothetically speaking, of course) that not only is Space Jam 2 green-lit, it also follows a premise similar to that of its predecessor: a crew of criminal aliens secretly invade Earth and steal the talent of five of the NBA’s biggest players. Who exactly would those five players be? Ladies and gents, meet the Mon-Stars 2.0.

 
 

Point Guard: John Wall
If there’s such thing as lightning in a bottle, then Wall is undoubtedly charisma in a can. Fresh off his first All-Star appearance, slam dunk contest victory (sort of—the format this year was severely flawed) and even a Best Buy commercial, Wall is more than ready to test his thespian skills on the silver screen. With his superb ball handling, leaping ability as a little man and showmanship (even his dougies are on point), the resident shrimp-sized alien out of the five would be thrilled to steal his talent.

 
 

Shooting Guard: James Harden
Going forward, not only is he the most promising two-guard in the league, but he’s also the most visibly recognized with a beard that puts Rick Ross to shame. With quick handling, penetration capabilities and marksmanship from deep (as a lefty at that), look for the more bizarre alien out of the bunch who likes to stand out in his unique way to steal the talents of Harden.

 
 

Small Forward: Paul George
Let’s cut to the chase. Kevin Durant would have been the blatantly obvious choice for this role, but let’s throw a monkey wrench in the entire operation and say that KD appears in the movie as an X-factor, not unlike Bill Murray who stepped in to give Michael Jordan the assist in the original flick. (Think about it). As for George, you have to get another high-flyer in the mix. He’s someone who comes across as quiet more often than not, but packs a haymaker when he’s out on the court. George has been one of the latest players in the NBA to break out as a star, so look for the timid member of the alien squad to steal his skills, and for him in particular to take it to LBJ in the film.

 
 

Power Forward: Blake Griffin
“An athletic freak of nature” as ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith would so eloquently put it, Griffin jumps through the roof, averages three posters per season, leaped over a car and just so happens to play in Tinsel Town with a bit of acting chops under his belt? This role was ready-made for him before the java was spilled on the metaphorical script. Look for the more physically-imposing, brutish member of the alien crew to seize his talents.

 
 

Center: Dwight Howard
This one’s a no-brainer. Dwight Howard’s the only cast member to have had a role in a movie, so acting is familiar territory for him. Apart from his shot-blocking skills in the paint and leaping abilities, he also has quite the personality. Known for being a wise-cracker at times, look for the alien who possesses that same quality to not only take Howard’s talents, but also be the leader of the Martian misfits.

And there you have it—you’re starting five is now set. Will LBJ be able to overcome the odds, or will the combined forces of some of the NBA’s greatest talents prove too much for him and his Looney Tunes crew? We’ll have to wait and see, but for now, “that’s all folks”!

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