Gentlemen, Nobody Wants To See Your ‘Sixth Man’

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If anything has been made abundantly clear in the digital age, it’s that women do not want to see your below-the-belt selfies (unless it’s to raise awareness for testicular cancer, but that’s another story). However, that didn’t stop Paul George from allegedly sending a dirty image of his sixth man to an unknown person over the internet. According to Black Sports Online, George was the victim of a “catfishing” scheme, and the recipient of the snaps may have been a guy named Paul who later posted them to Tumblr. Of course, George’s representatives at CAA Sports claim the images in question aren’t of the Indiana Pacers swingman. George didn’t exactly refute the claims, however. Either way, we think this might be a good time to remind guys why they shouldn’t be sending portraits of their peters in the first place.

 

Photo: BGCIAmDaTruth/Tumblr


They’re not pretty
Perhaps society is to blame for this double standard. The female body is alluring and can be appreciated for its beauty by members of both genders. That’s why people have been making the female form the focus of art since time immemorial. Male parts, on the other hand, one would be hard-pressed to consider artistic. Unless you’re a manscaped male model, chances are that no lighting, angle, or filter will make for a visually-appealing dong selfie ready to be sent to some unsuspecting woman. That’s not to say you shouldn’t be proud of your manhood—cameras just can’t do it justice.

You’re probably not thinking straight
There are only two situations in which men decide to authour dick pics. In the first, it’s because they have been explicitly asked to do so by their significant other. This is totally acceptable, if you don’t think the material will fall into the wrong hands (more on that later). In the second, it’s at a moment of pronouncedly poor judgement. Maybe you’ve had a few too many drinks. Maybe you’re feeling the sting of a bad breakup. Maybe you’re anxious to hurry a new relationship along during the first few weeks. Do you see a pattern here? A bad idea becomes a good one when your head’s not right, and nobody appreciates this kind of surprise.

Men think differently
Men are visual creatures. We’re wired to love it when a woman surprises us with a titillating photograph of herself, which may help explain why we might think women would appreciate it if we returned the favour. That’s not the case, as the hot button for women is a little different than for us guys. Women are turned on by sexual banter, wit, intelligence, determination and strength more than by our physical appearance. If you’ve got any of those traits, some steamy phone calls or textual double entendres will do. Absolutely no props necessary.

The internet never forgets
No compromising photos have ever been leaked to the internet—oh, wait. As George possibly found out for himself, there are a lot of trust issues involved with sending an image of one’s manhood. On a serious note, people can save them for an opportune moment, or use them as leverage down the road. If they are posted to the web, there’s little chance that deleting one photo will remove all the copies that inevitably can be made and circulated in an instant. Before you take a selfie downtown, ask yourself whether it’s worth the risk.

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