If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering whether something “counts” as a lie in your relationship, the quick and dirty answer is that if you’re not telling the truth, you’re probably lying. Thankfully, there is one extremely simple way to keep your relationship off the rocks: stop being dishonest.
Avoid playing keep-up
Yes, it’s as easy as that. One reason why it’s so easy to just stop lying is that lying takes effort, and honesty doesn’t. Trying to remember the details of things that haven’t happened can become very hard game to keep up over time. Being honest is less stressful and will let you focus on the more enjoyable aspects of your lovelife.
Lying by omission is also more hassle than it’s worth
You told her you were heading out with your coworker, but maybe you failed to mention it’s happy hour with that girl from accounting she’s been throwing shade at for weeks. But you didn’t lie, right? Not telling your girlfriend the whole truth can sometimes be just as bad as telling an outright lie—maybe even worse, because she’ll likely uncover the truth by herself. Telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth can help cover your tail down the line and decrease the chances of a Spanish Inquisition every time after she realizes that you’re in the habit of telling half-truths.
Really think about what you’re saying
Sure, you may know it when you tell a white lie deliberately to get what you want, but there are also the more innocuous lies that we tell without even realizing it. Is something bothering you? – No, nothing. Sound familiar? It may not seem like such a big deal at the time, but not opening up and being honest can make a relationship stressful and leave both of your needs unmet. That said, saying nothing at all is just as bad.
Lying is a slippery slope
A few white lies here and there, and you’ll eventually find yourself trying to get away with bigger and bigger half-truths until you find yourself suddenly lying to her face. She might forgive you the first few times, but once an outright lie is discovered, nothing will ever be the same—one lie can destroy a million truths.
Honesty gets you further, anyway
Having to explain what you really meant by your words every time you’re caught will make her resent you—and you’ll start resenting her calling you out on it, which really isn’t fair. Telling it like it is, on the other hand, will earn you her respect, even if sometimes it lands you in hot water—perhaps especially if it lands you in hot water—as long as you soften your delivery. The more honest you are, the safer you’ll both feel opening up to one another, creating a stronger bond. Oh, and she’ll be honest back to you, too, so that’s a plus.