She’s smart and funny, and you may want to be with her. The only problem is that she’s with another guy. What happens when your worlds collide after she’s moved on? Here are five tips for saving yourself the emotional trauma that may accompany seeing your ex with her new boyfriend.
The last thing you want to do is play it cool on the outside, especially if it hurts on the inside, but you should take a deep breath, and do just that. Lamar kept his cool when he was barred from entering the club in which his ex, Khloe Kardashian, was partying with her new boyfriend (although he could be seen fuming after his altercation—there’s no harm in that as long as you don’t make a scene). Confronting the new guy or your ex will only reignite any old arguments and remind her why you split in the first place. Why risk opening up old wounds once again?
Just say hi
Unless it was made fairly clear in the break up that neither of you want to see each other again, it’s simply polite to engage in some smalltalk rather than ignore each other—and face it, it’d be a lot more awkward if you went into hiding after making eye contact. Say hello, make your introductions and get out of Dodge. Remaining civil is a mark of a quality man, as is handling tough situations. If you’re both over each other, it may even provide some additional closure. But if you’re still pining for her…
If she’s moved on more quickly than you (or your emotions are still a little raw), it’s probably better to just leave the scene before you start feeling sorry for yourself or—worse—argumentative and belligerent. Avoidance may seem like an impossible solution, but every man needs time after a breakup to regain his composure—that’s why it’s a good idea to avoid texting, blowing up her phone and “accidental” bump-ins altogether as well.
Don’t hook up with someone else to make her jealous
If you’re stuck at the same party or club with no exit strategy, don’t make a show of getting with another girl to show your ex that you’re over her—everyone knows that it’s a telltale sign that you’re not. The same goes for talking up a new flame you’ve recently started seeing. A thinly-disguised attempt at making her jealous will only diminish your value. It may even actually work, making her feel bad—either for herself or for you—which will actually make you feel worse, because it’s a cheap shot and you know it.
Don’t try to win her back (at least not now)
Begging her to get back together with you when she’s out to have a fun time with her new guy will tax both your emotions, making you feel worse than if you didn’t say anything at all (especially if it involves the other man taking a swing at you). And have you considered even for one moment that she might have a good thing going now? Even if you truly believe you have a real shot at getting back together, save it for another moment when it’s a little more private—now’s not the time.