There are numerous things a guy can say to a woman that would land him in the doghouse, but with the right delivery, some of them can actually bring a couple closer together. Here’s the right way to say seven things you were always afraid to tell a woman, and how they can improve your relationship.
“That looks bad.”
Giving unsolicited criticism, as hard as it is, is key to maintaining your integrity in a relationship. It does not, however, give you the license to be blunt or hurtful. For example, if an outfit is looking rough and you want to tip her off, emphasize the clothes in question rather than inferring something is wrong with her style. Then be sure to have some advice to back it up. Trust us, being upfront about her hair being a mess is preferable to being dishonest.
“I’m happy for your success.”
Particularly in the sense of her succeeding where you did not, which may be a tough thing to admit given the requirements of today’s definition of masculinity. This is a great first step to removing your ego from the relationship in terms of who’s “winning” so-called competitions over career, looks and other ambitions.
If you’re not frivolous with its usage, “no” can go a long way in creating a sense of honesty in your relationship. If you find yourself being pressured by your partner or you have a serious objection to something, she’ll respect you asserting yourself if you do so respectfully and explain why it’s a no-go.
“I am attracted to her.”
People in relationships hoping to cultivate mutual trust and communication should regularly share what turns them on or attracts them to their preferred sex—that’s what she’s doing when she mentions an action movie hero’s good looks, anyway. Fully acknowledging that this is a potential minefield, take you girl’s personality into account, speak in the realm of fantasy (actors, celebs and so forth) and avoid making direct comparisons.
“I don’t like that guy.”
It’s hard to open up about our insecurities to women, because doing so can make us feel weak or worry about appearing jealous. However, if the way a guy’s looking at your girl seems like a real issue, pull her aside and tell her so in private. While you can’t—and shouldn’t—put limits on who she associates with, you’ll make your relationship expectations clear. The right girl for you will respect that, but if she uses your insecurities against you, it’s time to rethink your future.
“You look radiant.”
You might be worried you’ll come off as corny, but really any word for “beautiful” that isn’t “hot” or “sexy” means a whole lot coming from a guy. If you need, ahem, improve your vocabulary so you can stand out from the pack, take a look at a collection of Pablo Neruda’s love sonnets for some inspiration.
“Do you want to have sex?”
Men should “just go for it” when it comes to sex—or at least, that’s what we were told growing up, probably by insecure men afraid of rejection. However, no woman will judge us for being respectful of her body, let alone one ready to get down. Nothing is sexier than good old-fashioned consent, and getting it should be a regular occurrence during one night stands and early in a relationship.