‘Before you can make anyone happy, you have to understand what makes you happy.’
Self-knowledge is always the first step to a strong relationship. If you don’t know what makes you happy, you’ll never ask for it—and you’ll be doomed to being disappointed over and over again. Worse, you may confuse making someone else happy for a happy relationship.
‘Only a weak man is intimidated by a strong woman’
If you don’t treat a woman like your partner, something’s definitely wrong. Men should celebrate the talents and energy of their girlfriends. If she’s more successful, that should be a turn-on—and if she’s dating a guy like you, you ought to take it as a compliment.
‘There is no relationship without a friendship’
Many men rush into relationships for the sake of being in a relationship, or use them to satisfy their lust. Those never last. A relationship based on friendship—a codeword for mutual respect—ensures that both parties are equally invested in working towards a future together.
‘Find someone who shares similar dreams and chase them together’
Similar dreams and aspirations make it simple to support one another, and that support goes a long way in creating a strong relationship. Note that Lamb writes “similar” and not “the same.” Two people that complement one another are headed in the same direction, while it’s a rockier path for the couple that shares every interest, especially one with a competitive streak. Difference is healthy.
‘What’s the use of trying to change someone that is stuck in their ways…’
If a fundamental part of your girlfriend’s personality continuously arises as an issue, take stock if it’s something you’re comfortable living with for the next five, 10, or 25 years. People don’t change at their core, and efforts on your part to the contrary will only make you resent one another.
‘You have to be a good friend, to have a good friend.’
In a way, Lamb recalls the Golden Rule—you have to give what you expect in return. In a relationship, this effect is magnified.
‘No such thing as a small lie.. A lie, is a lie.’
As we have pointed out in the past, a lie is never just a lie. They take on a life of their own, and beget more lies to cover up the original. The only way out is honesty and hoping your best is good enough.
‘It’s difficult to have a good relationship when you have different definitions of one’
Defining the relationship can be one of the toughest talks you’ll have, but it’s also one of the most important. Get on the same page so neither party gets blindsided by the actions of the other.
‘When desperate women throw themselves, only weak men accept the offer…’
Although Lamb’s words unfairly assign negative connotations to the girls in question, the man who takes advantage of a desperate woman does not create a relationship, he creates a skewed power dynamic between himself and the female. Good relationships are about partnership, not domination.
‘Don’t let your failures define you, instead learn from them.’
This quote here can apply to so many things, we thought we’d save the best for last. In love as in life, if something doesn’t work out, you don’t have to let a failed relationship define your future. Keep hustling and find someone worth spending your life with.