How To React When Someone Calls Out Your Girlfriend

Say your girlfriend gets called out by a stranger, another woman, or—hypothetically speaking, of course—legendary rapper Snoop Dogg. What do you do? While the last thing an independent woman—for argument’s sake, Iggy Azalea—needs is your protection, there’s still a right way to come to her defence without going all white knight and making the situation worse, Nick Young-style. If someone’s got a beef with your significant other, here are some appropriate courses of action depending on the circumstances.

If they bring it up with you in private
People rarely bring up their beef directly with someone’s significant other unless it’s fairly serious, but when they do, it’s usually because they want to resolve the conflict but don’t know how. Hear out their grievances, help them formulate a plan to bring it up with your girlfriend and possibly even step in as the arbiter while they’re patching things up. Don’t go behind your girl’s back to try to resolve the issue yourself—her feelings won’t be spared when she finds out you kept the issue a secret from her.

If they make a scene in public
We know what you’re thinking: in this case, you don’t really have a choice whether or not to act, the decision was made for you. Not so. Don’t overstep your bounds, and allow her to decide your degree of involvement—remember, you’re not the one being attacked. If she wants to ignore it, that’s what you’ll do. If she doesn’t let it slide off, remember that diffusing the situation with a level-headed response serves you best, as opposed to, you know, knocking the guy out or making it worse with tough talk. Just ensure it’s obvious you’re on her side the whole way through.

If a friend dislikes her
In this dreaded situation, things may feel like you have to choose between your buddy and your girlfriend. However, no matter how much they swear things won’t change, they’ll eventually come around if you keep dating her. Until then, step up your hangouts with your buddies so they don’t feel ignored, and make an effort to slowly integrate your girlfriend into the group. If you force things, even your best friend might take exception.

If it’s another woman
If another woman starts a beef with your girlfriend, it’s often to assert her place in the social hierarchy—it’s just that guys are a little more obvious when they do it. Time-honoured tactics that help both men and women cut a member of the same sex down usually amount to insults and provocations. In such a case, the stronger party doesn’t stoop to their level. Ignoring the offender not only does the trick, it may even lead them to make fools of themselves desperately trying to call your bluff.


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