Avoiding holiday arguments is as much a fantasy as the existence of Santa Claus, so we’re not going to waste time telling you how to keep your head down (and you shouldn’t—but we’ll get to that later). If you find yourself embroiled in a caustic exchange with your girlfriend, here are some tips to make sure your relationship remains intact come New Year’s Day.

 

Keep it private
Don’t let your bickering affect the Christmas cheer of those around you. If you’re visiting the folks, broker a deal to keep things civil until you’re back in a more private setting. Your family will appreciate not being dragged into it. The ceasefire might make you realize that whatever you’re fighting over isn’t such a big deal, after all. If the fight is serious, cooling your emotions won’t hurt, either.

Be understanding
If your girl gets irate, relate to her state of mind before leaping in with your guns blazing. People have high expectations around this time of year. Seeing things from her point of view can help diffuse the situation, and may provide you with a way to help make things right. Who knows—maybe you can save the day.

Take time to yourself
Faced with nearly infinite amounts of holiday stress, you’ll be willing to dive into just about any argument that presents itself. A solo activity such as taking a walk, meditating, or just chilling in the basement with a glass of eggnog can help you blow off some steam, effectively reducing the chances of saying something you don’t mean and sparking a spat.

Don’t put the holidays on a pedestal
Chances are that you’re scared stiff of having a squabble, lest you ruin that special holiday vibe. Truth is, couples argue all the time—the time of year doesn’t matter. Work out your differences and move on. If you take precautions to avoid a fight, you’ll be walking on pins and needles the whole time and she’ll be walking all over you. Not a good feeling.

Just take the hit

   

How To Make A Moment Unforgettable For Your Girlfriend Be the guy that raises the bar on birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions What LeBron James’ lowkey approach to his fiancee’s birthday can teach us about making a moment count Posted on Aug 29, 2014

The Holiday Dating Survival Guide How to get through a stressful holiday period with a stronger relationship Tips for resolving fights, giving support and more, whether you’re dating or single Posted on Nov 22, 2013

5 Ways to Defuse an Argument Bypass break-up and go straight to make-up. Here are some great ways to survive any fight with the person you love. While most people would rather drive a knife through their hand than sit down with their partner and have a real conversation every time they disagree, working through issues together can actually strengthen your relationship Posted on Jun 29, 2012