The 5 Worst Types Of Women To Hook Up With Over The Holidays

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The holidays can be awesome for guys in relationships—and a potential minefield for those who aren’t quite as lucky. Although it can be a lot of fun meeting single women at parties, desperation tends to cloud our judgement when it comes to the long-term consequences of our holiday hookups. Rather than leave it up to your mistletoe-addled libido, we’ve come up with a five point guide designed to help you avoid doing something you’ll regret when you wake up in 2015. Here’s who not to hook up with over the holidays.

 
 

Somebody else’s girlfriend
You know the holiday season can be stressful on relationships—after all, you can’t remember the last time you saw a couple that wasn’t arguing since the department stores dusted off their Christmas soundtracks. Despite the incessant fights, however, almost nobody’s willing to pull the plug on their relationship until after Christmas (maybe New Year’s Day). A wandering eye, a relationship on the rocks, a cup of eggnog—you’ve got a recipe for women seeking an affair that won’t be much fun for either party after all is said and done. The only thing as bad as a holiday breakup is causing one (and then possibly suffering a broken nose at the hands of a jilted boyfriend).

The hometown hookup
If you’re a student (or just a damn good son) and make the yearly trek down to your hometown to visit the parents, you might just run into some familiar faces. Possibly even some good-looking ones you had a crush on in high school. As hard as it may be not to make a move now that you’re a success, things can get complicated rather quickly. It’s easier around this time of year for her to leave her boyfriend out of the conversation; she might not know it’s a one-time thing for you. Either way, it’ll make coming home next year that much more awkward, especially if you live in a small town.

The hottie you met during cuffing season
You’ve made what appears to be a great connection with a girl you met around the time the temperatures started to dip, and now she’s officially your girlfriend. Good for you! Just don’t get too caught up in this particular relationship until you know you’re both equally invested. It’s “cuffing season”—the fall and winter period where everybody seems to pair off conveniently just in time for the holidays. Have a talk about where your relationship is headed, preferably before any major gift-giving days. If you don’t define the relationship sooner than later, you may find yourself blindsided by a breakup text as soon as the snow starts to melt.

The co-worker
According to a survey by Canon, one third of coworkers or supervisors either kiss or end up going home together after the company Christmas party. That’s a pretty good shot at getting some action, isn’t it? Unfortunately, those are also your odds of inviting a career-halting inappropriate office relationship charge, whether you take it past Christmas Day or not. Even if both parties agree they’re into it, many offices have strict rules against such relationships. Furthermore, if you’re the boss, you should make extra effort not to engage in anything remotely resembling inappropriate behaviour. Twenty-five per cent of women say their boss has made a pass at them during such an event. It’s not harmless—sexual assault is a serious offence.

The ex-girlfriend

Nothing says “I’m sad and alone during the holidays” like a late-night text to your ex fueled by a handful of rum balls. Not only will hooking up with your former flame end just like it began (read: you, single), but it will take a toll on your self-confidence. Seek instead the company of fun, single women who haven’t broken your heart—perhaps the girl your buddy’s about to introduce you to at your next holiday shindig?
 
  
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