How Women Really Feel About Alpha Males

Photo: @badgalriri/Instagram 

By now you’ve probably heard of the Rihanna and Matt Barnes debacle. If not, here’s a little refresher: the Memphis Grizzlies player was stopped in August by a TMZ cameraman and was asked if anything was going on between him and the superstar. TMZ—the always reliable news source that it is—claimed the pair had been on “two dates fairly recently.”

“Rihanna’s my friend right now, so we’ll see where it goes,” Barnes told TMZ. “I think it’s just past the crush stage, just a little bit.” He added, “We’re friends, and we’ll see where it goes from there.”

Upon hearing of the exchange, the “Bitch Better Have My Money” singer called foul and took Barnes to task on her Instagram for fueling dating rumours about them.

“#bishwhere #thedevilisaliar #shesnotthatintoyou #shesnotintoyouatall #shesneverevenmetyou #thisactuallyhurtmyfeelings #defamationofcharacter,” she captioned the photo.

So what exactly happened here? Well, it looks like Barnes was possibly suffering from a bruised ego, and therefore was “posturing” in order to make himself feel better (a.k.a. “feel more like a man”). Posturing is common to the Alpha Male. Strutting, flexing biceps, taking charge of a room—these are all examples of what an Alpha Male does in order to impress others, and especially women. Barnes hinted at a possible relationship with Rihanna because he either didn’t want others to think she rejected him OR he assumed he could date her if she just gave him a chance. I mean, who wouldn’t want to date a star athlete, right?

Turns out a lot of women wouldn’t.

Men might think that leading the pack and crushing the competition is what women really want, but that isn’t always the case. Here’s what women really feel about dating top dogs.

They’re unnervingly attractive
According to science, women tend to prefer the smell, voice and overall appearance of an alpha male. Scientists think it has to do with how female brains process social status and dominance. It probably dates back to the caveman era when hooking up with the leader of the tribe basically ensured a woman’s survival, so you can’t really fault her for wanting to live. Plus, alpha males usually are charismatic, which is a trait that most women find very sexy.

…But they don’t appear trustworthy
However, looks can be deceiving. As much as women find Alpha Males to be super hot, research also says they can find their appearance to be untrustworthy and dishonest. Let’s face it: possessing a shitton of charm and good looks means most alpha males earn a player’s reputation. Unsurprisingly then, a woman might think that an alpha male is more likely to cheat on her. Sure, she’ll hook up with him once or twice, but she’s sure as hell not keen on marrying him.

They’re a little too driven
Passion and confidence are attractive qualities in a person, alpha male or not. No doubt it’s the alpha male’s drive to succeed that initially hooks a woman into his bed and life. However it’s that same obsession to be “number one” that will probably drive a woman away from an alpha male. His needs and wants will always come first. He might lavish his girlfriend with bling and expensive dinners, but it doesn’t compensate for their lack of attention, affection and understanding.

Looks like Rihanna definitely dodged a bullet.
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