It’s a comfort thing
Intimacy and vulnerability are huge connectors between two people. Letting someone into your life is a big effing deal, and, let’s be honest, the idea of doing it all over again with someone new makes most people want to puke. Your ex already knows your bathroom routine, that you’re allergic to peanuts and how much you hate Kevin Spacey. Plus, the most important part of it all: you loved her. Love instantly bonds us, and it’s super difficult to shake, but it doesn’t mean it’s meant to last forever. Change is scary, but it also allows us to grow. Understand you’re just a creature of habit that’s in need of a good shake up, and then release.

You still demand answers
Sometimes breakups come out of nowhere. One minute, you’re watching “Fool’s Gold,” and the next minute, she’s dumped your ass and now you’re feeling like a fool—not to mention hella confused and heartbroken, too. If you’ve never received a “why” to the breakup, you might still be holding onto your ex because of your desperate need for some closure. Here’s something I’ve learned: the only person who can give you closure is yourself. Often times, your ex can’t even explain herself why she did what she did. So, let you and your ex off the hook, and move on.

Your ego is bruised
No one likes to be dumped. No one likes to feel they’re not good enough or special enough to be with someone, especially someone they loved. But you have to understand that all of the hurt and resentment you feel is just your big bad ego talking. Your ego thrives of making you feel like crap, so don’t let it. Don’t see your breakup as a personal failure or obsess over what you didn’t do right. There’s nothing wrong with you, but there was something wrong with your relationship. See your breakup as a necessity for finding the person who you’re truly meant to be with.

You haven’t grieved enough

 

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