What Does Every NBA Team Want from Santa?
It’s the holiday season and who doesn’t love gifts, right? Even NBA teams filled with multi-millionaires love presents and who can blame them?
Well, just in time for the holidays, with Christmas Eve coming up real soon, we take a look every single NBA team and one wish that each one would love to have granted by Santa Claus!
Atlanta Hawks – Improved Three-Point Shooting
Atlanta Hawks are one of the better teams in basketball when it comes to ball movement, but unlike other years, no matter how open their shooters are, they cannot make their three-pointers. In fact, they are 26th in the entire NBA in three-point percentage at 33.2%.
Whether it’s Kyle Korver and company getting hot, or Santa hooking the Hawks up, Coach Bud needs to see his team’s threes start to drop.
Boston Celtics – Pull the Trigger
The Boston Celtics are a top team in the Eastern Conference, but are no where near elite. With the amount of draft picks and trade bait that Danny Ainge is stashing, when will it be time to pull a trigger and bring one more star to Boston?
Brooklyn Nets – Find Draft Picks
Bernard King and the Nets management have left the Brooklyn basketball franchise in a bit of a pickle after trading away their entire future for veteran players who could barely move.
But there is hope and it starts with Brook Lopez. Get draft picks and embrace full tank mode!
Charlotte Hornets – Big Men who can Score
Between Cody Zeller and Roy Hibbert, there is not much intimidating offensive presence to go around in Charlotte. The backcourt is stabilized by Kemba Walker and a bunch of shooters, but it’s time for M.J. to get on the phone and find a tall dude who can put the ball into a basketball net consistently.
Chicago Bulls – Anybody who can Shoot
Doug McDermott has been hurt for most of the season, Nikola Mirotic has been inconsistent. If there is anyone out there who can shoot a basketball and is willing to help the Bulls out, it would be greatly appreciated!
Cleveland Cavaliers – The Kardashian Curse to not Strike Again
What more can the NBA champions possibly want for Christmas? Well, dating a Kardashian has proven to cause more harm than good to professional athletes over the past few years and coincidently Tristan Thompson is currently dating Khloe Kardashian.
May Santa be on the Cavaliers’ side.
Dallas Mavericks – Accept that you Suck
Dirk Nowitzki, Harrison Barnes, Wesley Matthews, whoever. This team is not going anywhere and unfortunately, it’s time to accept it. I’m sorry Mark Cuban, but Dirk will retire on a very bad basketball team.
Trading Andrew Bogut would be a nice first step forward.
Denver Nuggets – Get a Star
This has been a problem for the Nuggets ever since the departure of Carmelo Anthony. Even when they remained a playoff team, there was still a lack of a closer for crunch time. As for right now, this strangely built Nuggets team needs a star for any sort of direction.
Detroit Pistons – Figure out the Reggie Jackson dilemma
It’s odd, but the Pistons offence has been playing far worse since the return of Reggie Jackson.
Now, Stan Van Gundy has been characteristically grumpy of late playing the role of the Grinch, but if anything, he should find a way to better utilize Jackson in his team’s offence. Save Christmas for the desperate Detroit Pistons fans!
Golden State Warriors – No Presents for you
Embracing the role of villain, the Warriors have made Santa’s naughty list and therefore get no present.
And really, do the Warriors really need any more gifts?
Houston Rockets – Temporary Replacement for Capela
So everything’s been going just fine and dandy for the high-scoring Rockets teams. Everything except one thing – Capela’s leg injury.
Capela has taken over for Dwight Howard as the anchor of the Rockets defence and for the next four-to-six weeks, the Rockets will need to find somebody to replace him because honestly, this team needs all the defence it can get.
Indiana Pacers – Extend Paul George
There has been far too many trade rumours surrounding Paul George. Crazy, right? Dude’s one of the best two-way players in the entire league.
What’s one way of getting rid of the rumours? Extending PG13 should do the trick!
Los Angeles Clippers – Reach the Conference Finals
Since the turn of the century, only two teams have not reached the conference finals – the New Orleans Pelicans and the Clips. Both teams surprising led by Chris Paul for extended lengths of time.
The Clippers need to finally break through and so does Paul. If this season is not the year, then time may have run out for the other L.A. franchise.
Los Angeles Lakers – Shed the Baggage
Who knows why the Lakers brought in Loul Deng and Timofey Mozgov on huge contracts with term, but they have to find a way of getting rid of them as the Lakers should refocus on hitting gold in the 2017 Draft lottery.
A Josh Jackson would look real nice on this Laker team too.
Memphis Grizzlies – Healthy Knees for Chandler Parsons
Can anything else be said? Parsons was Memphis’ big offseason get and they desperately need him healthy if the Grizz hope to stand any chance in the playoffs.
Miami Heat – Sell high on Goran Dragic
The Miami Heat are no longer talented enough to even compete for a playoff spot. It’s time to look towards the future and sell high on the one big name they could use as trade bait – Goran Dragic.
Ain’t nothing wrong with loading up on first round picks, especially for the 2017 NBA Draft.
Milwaukee Bucks – Give up on Greg Monroe Experiment
Monroe is clearly in Jason Kidd’s doghouse and this experiment has just not worked out. The Bucks have two stars and they need as much help as possible. Finding that help may start with finding more a more reliable big man.
Point is, Monroe has got to go.
Minnesota Timberwolves – Acquire Veteran Leadership
This is one young team, isn’t it?
With a team filled with so much youth, the Wolves need some sort of veteran presence, an extension of the coaching staff on the court to help the Minnesota young guns to develop. Ricky Rubio may be the trade chip that can just make it happen.
New York Knicks – Get a Bench
Derrick Rose, Carmelo Anthony, Courtney Lee, and of course Kristaps Porzingis have all been great this season. The bench? Not so much.
Phil Jackson might just want to focus more on improving the Knicks second unit as opposed to calling out every single player in basketball.
New Orleans Pelicans – Help for Anthony Davis
The Pelicans need some sort of spark plug. Their offseason acquisitions of E’Twaun Moore and Solomon Hill have not been the answer. Tyreke Evans is now getting back into the fold, but can the injury-riddled guard be trusted?
The Pelicans need some consistent level of production from somebody outside of Davis.
Oklahoma City Thunder – Rudy Gay
Let’s be honest, Rudy Gay would be a great fit on this Thunder team. This team needs secondary scoring and Rudy Gay may just be on the market.
Sam Presti, get it done!
Orlando Magic – Fire Rob Hennigan
The Orlando Magic had something neat going with a ton of young pieces, then the offseason of 2016 happened and everything has been essentially ruined.
A Sam Presti robbery and a few random signings later and the Magic are back to square one. At least their team owner believes the franchise is destined to win at least one championship before 2030.
Philadelphia 76ers – Trust the Process
The Sixers have finally struck gold with Joel Embiid.
Stick to it. Please, do not screw this up.
Phoenix Suns – Trade a Guard
Between Brendon Knight and Eric Bledsoe, the Suns will have to pick their poison of who to move. Devin Booker is a potential star in the making, and don’t sleep on Tyler Ulis. The Suns need to improve elsewhere and by taking away from a surplus, the franchise can start plugging holes.
Portland Trailblazers – Find a New Home for Evan Turner
Evan Turner has quite possibly been one of the worst additions of the offseason. The $70-million dollar man has really been that bad.
With Turner on the floor, the Blazers are being outscored by 11.3-points per 100-possessions. With Turner warming the bench, the Blazers have been outgunning their opposition by 5.6-points per 100-possessions.
You get where I’m going with this. Portland must move Turner. They must find a way.
Sacramento Kings – End the Boogie Era
How has DeMarcus Cousins not been traded yet?
The Kings are a mess of a franchise, quite possibly the worst in the entire NBA, and they are stuck in limbo.
For Christmas, free Boogie! Sell high on Cousins and start rebuilding for the future. Some teams will be willing to sell a body part for the best big man in the game.
San Antonio Spurs – Better Pick-n-Roll Defence
The Spurs are not perfect. For some that may come as a surprise, but in a league in which the pick-n-roll is relied on so heavily, the Spurs will have no choice but to find a way to improve.
Tony Parker is old and Pau Gasol is a defensive liability. Both players just happen to be the two most targeted guys by opposing defences.
It’s back to the drawing board for Coach Pop, just in time for Christmas!
Toronto Raptors – The Atlanta Version of DeMarre Carroll
DeMarre Carroll has not been the player the Toronto Raptors expected, but there is still time for him to change that perception.
The Raptors need Carroll completely healthy in time for their playoff run and preferably revert back to his ‘3-and-D’ repertoire.
Utah Jazz – Reach Full Health
Whether it is George Hill or Derrick Favors or young guard Dante Exum, the Utah Jazz need to reach full health. The team is destined for a playoff berth and if they hope to find success, it starts by being at full strength.
Joe Johnson and Boris Diaw are no young bucks either. Everyone’s health will be vital in the team’s success.
Washington Wizards – Get Boogie
There is no better way to end a Christmas wish list than by giving Boogie yet another shoutout.
Do the Washington Wizards suck? Yup. Does DeMarcus Cousins want out of Sacramento? Yup. Would Cousins want to reunite with his Kentucky Wildcat teammate, John Wall? Yup. Is the NBA better when Boogie is happy? again, yup.
Wizards, make it happen. Your team is unwatchable.
For Christmas, bring the nation’s capital some much needed joy because come January 20th, Washington will need all the happiness it can grab a hold of.